Attention

Attention is to people, what fertilizer is to flowers…..Quality Attention is more potent than quantity.~ DT

So often we find ourselves filling with guilt or fear that we are not spending enough time with our partner, children, parents or friends. Then we beat ourselves up for not doing what they need. We quantify our time and how much is needed to fill up those we love. When actually its not the quantity of time that reflects our love for them, its the quality.

I see this in partnerships who seem to be having challenges. Its apparent when one is complaining that the other is not present and they are feeling unfulfilled. This isn’t stemming from the lack of time together, its the effect of poor quality time together. It appears when even minimal time spent is spent together but each are not present for the experience they have in front of them. Simply sitting and holding hands, a long distance conversation or dinner is spent physically present, but emotionally one or both are absent.

The same is true for time with others, the present party can feel when the other is distant and not fully present for the connection. Children are especially aware of this and you can see it when they act up or act just as the parent, unengaged. The parent takes it personal, as the child is uninterested in the conversation, when in reality they are just reflecting back to the parent what is being given to them.

To make a true connection with anyone requires your full presence physically, mentally and emotionally. Try to engage with others as if its the last time you will see them and look for their gifts each time you are with them. Give them your full attention even if just for a few minutes. They can feel it and you will be appreciated for the quality of attention given.

This has become a hard task given technology and so much distraction that is impeding our connections with others. If you love someone, make it quality time and the quantity will be unimportant. Be truly engaged with them physically, mentally and emotionally. They will appreciate it and love you more regardless of quantity of time.

Brightest Blessings,
Daune