Drama Detox in Love

“I want to find a loving partnership”… are the words expressed daily from someone you talk to.  You know someone single, divorced, widowed and yearning for a partner to share life with.  There is every kind of dating, meeting and social group out there to help in the process, yet many seem to be miserable in or out of their partnerships.  We are in a partnership crisis like we have never seen.  50% of marriages fail and an even higher percentage fail on second and third marriages.  We have lost our reason and purpose for being in the partnership.  We want the feeling it gives us but we neglect to look at the reason we are failing miserably to make them work.  Now I can give so many angles to this post today but I will focus on the simplest reason and share more in a future post.

If you were to ask “What is love?”… you would get a multitude of answers to match every person asking it.

Its different for everyone in how they were taught as a child.  But yet, we all want it and we want our version.  Why are we so intent on falling in love when it seems to be the one thing that truly blinds, debilitates and wounds us?  Daily I see some wounded post on social media about love and getting hurt.  Yet, we continue to walk the path seeking it around every corner and alley.

Are we poor learners? Are we completely disillusioned by it?  Are we that forgetful of the pain it caused?  This is the fascinating part of love.  We keep trying because it’s who we are in our souls.  What we are all seeking is not something you get or give, love is something you are.  We are seeking the mirror of our own loving capacity.  We seek to find another who can allow us to just BE.  To allow the love we are capable of expressing when we are vulnerable, weak, tired, fearful and overwhelmed.  That person who sees past our superhero persona into our soul.  The part of us that questions our dreams and visions and still your partner believes in you when you don’t believe in yourself.  Because the state of you just being is greater in their eyes than the shell you share with strangers.

This love that we are all in search of, it seems is being confused with what we are really in search of…Trust and Respect.  The more trust and respect you have from another, the more you believe in yourself to accomplish all that your soul is here to be.

As time passes the more trust you have the greater and deeper the love becomes.  As trust builds, the love you see in them makes their faults and weaknesses become subdued or even non-existent.  Weaknesses are no longer seen as weak but real and simply character traits of their true being.  They wouldn’t be the person you love if they didn’t have silly quirks that only you know.  They hand you their vulnerability with complete and utter trust that you won’t judge.  They are being in a whole and complete state with you and you know this is happening only because they trust you.

To attract this partner, you have to trust and respect yourself in the process.  Like energy attracts -> like energy and if you lack trust in yourself you will attract the same partner with similar trust issues.  When you don’t love yourself, you tend to look for another to fill that which only you can fill.  Trust that you are willing to fill your soul and its needs to the fullest so you can attract someone who will do the same.  It requires two people willing to communicate that this is their top priority and each will support the other in fulfilling it.  That conversation is where trust starts.

Stop trying to fall in love and start looking for trust.  Trust is the space that feels calm and centered.  Its peaceful and has less extremes.  When you trust someone, you begin to act like yourself as a whole and complete person.  You are then safe to be the loving being you truly are and express it without fear but with joy.

Brightest Blessings

Daune