Passing your Vulnerability Test

How do you determine if you can truly trust someone?  It’s one of the big challenges we face in relationships, allowing another to see our vulnerable side.  You want to let them in and give them the key to your deepest fears under pad lock.  But in doing so you must remove your insecurities of being judged by another’s interpretation of you.  You worry that their opinion of you might be swayed after revealing your personal truths.  Our ego nudges us to keep quite because it fears pain and shame.

Unfortunately, when you share your fears with someone who has the same insecurities, you trigger their junk and often find they either lessen the potency of your words or use them against you.   Their poor response is just a symptom of them reflecting their own insecurities back to you, masked as yours.  Since you were the one brave enough to open up to be “real”, you are the one they will give theirs to as well.  Is it ok?  Not at all, but it happens all the time and it’s  a big reason why so many hide their truth and lack the most important element of a healthy relationship, TRUST.

So the true test is not in keeping your vulnerabilities and fears private from friends, partners and close connections, but in sharing them.  By sharing your insecurities you see a persons true character by how they react to your story.  Because that’s all insecurities are…an old Story!  A story about an event that happened that put you in some weakened state and it continues to be real, until a person arrives into your world that sees you different than your story.  This is the person you TRUST with your vulnerability and passes the test.  This is the person that arrives to break your old story and helps you to live a new, beautiful one.

This is the vulnerability test and if they use it against you to mask their own, they “Fail” and you are better off knowing it. Then you can use caution knowing the relationship has very little trust.  Do you continue to give them chances for you to trust them? NO!  They must heal their own story before they can see past yours.  Love them as they are and move on.

But if they do pass, you are in the presence of someone who you know is a keeper.  You build a wonderful bond of love, support and encouragement.   This is important for you to remember as well when someone reveals their fears and insecurities to you, respect that you are being given the opportunity to see their inner beauty and create a new healthier story.  You have the power to redirect or derail them, it’s all in what you choose to see. Love or Fear.

Brightest Blessings,

Daune